what it was, what it was ment to bewhat it is what it will never be

Well lets see here what all has been going on.
Today was my only day off so I was enjoying it until I got a phone call and my day came crashing down.
Well My grandpa had been sick these past few days and today I found out that he’s no longer using his oxygen and such to help him breath and he’s smoking again, now I and my g-ma spent hours in the emergency to make sure he was getting better and now, now he’s not even trying, He’s having problems seeing and he cant really get around and he cant get around because his feet are swollen to the size of small balloon’s. So today when my parents got home we dove over there. Tad didn’t like what he saw because it means that liquid is traveling through his body or something like that and it could work its way up to his heart so if he doesn’t go to the hospital or use his oxygen he probably won’t make it till Christmas. It’s very sad and has me very, very worried now my grandpa and I have never been really close but I sill love him. He’s not even making and effort to live and I guess it scares me. My grandma and I where talking about future plans if he doesn’t make it…its something I never thought I would have to discuss or think about.
On to other news, I’m still working and I still love my job sometimes it’s tiring and all and standing all day is a little crappy but hey I still love it and my boss is awesome, last night I was at work until 10:00 because I was learning how to close. Yippy.
Umm ya.
Ok so I’m still dating this one dude and that seems to be at a stand still kinda thing seems how I don’t get to see him a lot with work and all which kinda sucks but hey.
And to the Eagle…muhh. I don’t trust anyone because I’ve learned the hard way there is no one you can trust everyone stabs you in the back at one point or another. No I wasn’t trying to start a fight I was just merely stating how I felt and such. No really I’m not sweet; I just make sure that I and mine are watched out after. Also…hmm I was gonna say something else but I can’t remember now…damn it. Oh ya I’m angry all the time because this was how I was made and other things that have set me off…To me this is life…
Eric…when are we gonna do coffee?
well gotta run gotta go to g-ma in the morning and go to work

Things I dont give a fuck about notebook

Oh yey I’m still alive…I think…

Well I’ve been working and all and I’m loving my job yes I can admit standing is a little tiring (and I did it for 10 hours today) but I’m getting use to it and sometimes the counting is tiring and all but still. I love it. Of course today I had a nice scare and thought I was gonna loss my job cause 79.00 or something like that was missing from my cashier drawer so I started to freak the fuck out cause I know I was counting my money right and everything and then my boss dude looked in our bank safe thingy and realized what was missing was put in there…grr but hey I got told today that my boss thought I was doing a great job and all and he didn’t mean to freak me out or anything…whew…

Let’s see here other then work I really haven’t been up to much I’ve pretty much dedicated myself to my job and all so I’m not partying or staying out until all hours of the morning or anything crazy like that hell all this week the only day I have off is Tuesday but I’m fine with that because there’s being able to do things either before work or after work…

I’m anticipating my sister coming back home and December and I keep holding my breath granted I know I won’t get to spend as much time with her because of work and all but at least I’ll get to see her and have the satisfaction of her being back home and with the family that loves her most ;)

Teal’s moved out of my house and in with yet another friend and I guess she is now regretting it seems how her friend has a 1 bdr. Apartment and there are 4 people living in it and now she feels truly homeless plus she has no job and isn’t in school anymore and even though I don’t approve of what she is doing I still stand by her and I’m still her friend even though she does piss me off sometimes but I guess her moving out was for the better cause her living with me was tearing our friendship apart.

Well I’m heading off to bed its 12:00 a.m. I’m sicj and I have work at 12:00 this afternoon or w/e

PS Eric if you read this let me know if you me and the pussy are still up for coffee

Peace

Fuck you (cause your special)

Holy Shit I’m still alive???
Damn

Ok well a lot of shit has been going on lately so let me catch people up to things.
First life is still hell, I still am dealing with my mom and Tad and there so called love for me which is really just them saying it then treating me like shit and making me clean and do all that stupid shit.
I finally took my GED but I wont get anything back from them yet for like another 2 weeks or w/e which is bullshit cause I’m tired of waiting I want to be able to have it and try to go out and get a good job.
Lets see here still unemployed and looking EVERYWHERE but to my dismay I haven’t found anything yet and I’m going a lil’ crazy, my mom is trying to help me get a job a DOL which would be really good cause if I get that job I’ll be making 30K a year which for my age is really damn good, but because I still haven’t heard anything on that I’m looking into other places as well. Just cross your fingers that I find something and I find it soon or cross your fingers that spencers calls me back or w/e…
Let’s see here my friend Teal lives with me and she is driving me fucking nuts she needs to grow the fuck up get her head out of her ass and start acting the age that she fucking is, I thought it would be ok for her living with me but the longer she has been the more pissed off I get and now I’m sitting back watching her life go down the drain because she doesn’t know how to make the right choices and that pisses me off even more…She bitches cause people don’t treat her like her age should be treated and I always just want to say gee I wonder why…FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK
Anyways shit is all the fuckin same SSDD and I’ begging for a change and one here really soon…
gahh