Growing up

Have you ever just stopped to think about your life? So many times in this past year I have and I’m always finding myself think of how quickly you really have to grow up, you don’t get to spend as many years as you think goofing off and just being a kid because usually by the time you hit 13 years old people are already expecting so much out of you. Sometimes I find myself wishing that I where just a little kid again and not having a care in the world and depending on other people for help like my big sister who was always there to take care of me know matter how much of a brat I was and then my mom cause she was after all the one to bring me into this world and I know if she really wanted to she could take me out as well, even Tad was there even though I didn’t much show my appreciation to him but he did help us out a lot along the way. I guess what I’m really trying to say is just in the past year I realized just how much growing up I really have to do and in such a short time. Soon I’ll be out on my own paying my own bills and doing my own thing with no one but myself to depend on and at times I’m scared about it and other I can’t wait to get out in the world and experience things for myself. It kind of sucks though when you actually have to stop and think and realize OH SHIT, I’m growing up…
Ahh, and a nice little update. My computer is on the major fucking fritz I left Saturday night so I can do baby-sitting on Sunday and when I got back home I tried to turn my computer on and if goes to a blue screen saying something’s wrong with some new drive I installed on my computer (I HAVENT INSTALLED ANYTHING NEW) and of course I asked my mom if anyone was on my computer and her reply was a hesitated no…so ya…and because its all fucked up I cant do any studying for my G.E.D, grr…
Baby-sitting, its so very fun (NOT) its of for the most part but I get so worn out by it, running after the baby, making sure there not sticking anything in there mouth, changing them, waking up at 3:00 A.M. to baby screaming for another bottle or because the baby is up, VERY TIRING, I like get don’t get me wrong but I think I agree with my bro there cute and all as long as you can give the little fuckers back.
So we still don’t know what is going on with my back seems how the fuck head dr. still hasn’t called us back, my parents say no news is good news but that’s a fucking lie because my mom got no new for 6 months, then she found out she had to go in for surgery…I hate this waiting bullshit…
Well got to run I have to get dinner started for people –smirk-