Mind Fuck

When the friends you thought you had where never there,
when everyone you thought cared didnt even dare,
when life turns to shit and your all on your own.
what will you do?
Who will you turn to (if anyone at all)?
What will happen to you?
(know one knows)


Not much new going on with me, SSDD.
Trying to get my mom to get a date for me so I can take my damn GED but that STILL hasnt happend, which is pissing me off just a lil'.
So every one in Gods name wants to hang out with me this summer, I'm so confussed on who to go chill with when I have the time cause I dont want to upset anyone, but hey I guess shit happens...
This week I'm doing job hunting so I'm praying I find something because I really do NEED a job.
Well thats it for now, when I have more time I will write more.

I'm Gonna Jump

I would really like to jump off a fucking cliff right now…It might be fun…

Well not much new going on here, SSDD plus yet more bullshit, ahh gotta love it, it’s just enough to make you wanna fucking scream on the top of you lungs.

This weekend was pretty damn fun, got to shot a 12G shotgun and a 20 and also got to fire of about 30 rounds with a 22 rifle, and OMG do I kick some major ass (don’t ever fuck with me when I got a 12G shotgun) also got to swim and such for a few and go on a few walks and such it was cool.

Well in about a week and a half I will probably be taking my GED, at this point I cant wait because all the shit that has been going on, I’m beginning to get a lil’ warn out bye it all.

Came close to having a major Migraine today but as usual I fought it off and didn’t say anything cause I didn’t want to freak people out, I think I only started to get it because I was getting stressed out and all about my GED and what I’m gonna be doing and all that, its just all coming and crashing in at once on me (just my luck)

Well my mom and I had a lovely little argument today about all the shit that has been going on but as fuckin usual she blew me off wouldn’t let me get out all of what I was gonna say and told me I was wrong (poor unfortunate souls) Grr sometimes I wonder if shes just doing it cause she thinks it funny to piss me off or is just doing her whole blowing me off and all because she realizes that I am right and I really am getting treated the way I am but her I will never know, I’m just so sick of arguing with her and getting told I don’t know WTF I’m talking about when even everyone else I know can see it…

OH GOD 4-5 Months max that’s all that I can stand it anymore I cant go any longer cause if I do I fear I will just snap (WTF else is new)

So…I got to watch The Hills Have Eyes with one of my friends and her sister and omg it was so damn funny cause they where both scared shitless…OH! You gotta love the gore movies and such they are fucking awesome…

Good-byes and reminders

Well I'm back from my 3 week trip from Ohio (sadly)
It was very nice out there I loved it, fresh air, friendly people and not a whole hell of a lot of crime. I loved it and I’m defiantly going back after I get my GED and take care of the shit I have to take care of out here. I just wish I didnt have to say good-bye again to my sis it was a bitter reminder of when she moved out there and I had to say good-bye the last time all the tears and promises and such...I hated it...
Well as figured, I got home and I know I left my room and bathroom clean before I left for Ohio, Well…There where clothes everywhere (not mine mind you) and my bathroom was NASTY) God I could have screamed. I was beyond pissed but like a good clean person I cleaned. Then of course my mom was telling me about all the chores I have to do which is FUCKED UP.
On top of that Carl is still living here (obviously or my room wouldn’t have been a mess) and just to bitch about how much I really want to stab the shit outta this person, when I got home a 1:00 am he was up and said hi and I said hi and Good-night, now it just may be me but when someone says this it usually means they are GOING TO BED, well he continued to try to talk to me then followed me down stairs and I told him I wanted to sleep then he said fine be that way and walked up the stairs calling me a STUPID CUNT.. SO…at this point I would really like to stab him REALLY and I almost did but I don’t want to go to jail so ya. (and just in case anyone didn’t know those are the 2 worst mother fuckin words you can call me, go ahead call me a bitch and all that I don’t care but to call me stupid and a cunt, you better watch your mother fuckin back cause I will stab you eventually or come at you an even worse way.
Ok now that I’m done bitching I think….
I hope everyone is well here soon I will get in touch and tell you all I’m alive and what went on while I was in Ohio…
Grr I hate being back here…